RegisterYou are here >Articles

PostHeaderIconArticles

09
by: Amy Twain

There's a reason why you've got friends--it's because they like you! So don't try to label yourself a Loser because nobody wants to hang out with a loser. Don't try to sound like you are your own worst enemy, because your friends are there for you.

Don't be a downer; if you hang out with your friends and update each other with your lives, instead of conveniently discussing about your current problems bombarding you, also try to talk about possible solutions to it. Don't forget that your friends are on your side (mostly), so they want to feel that you're also on your side, also.

Also, don't get stuck as a lifelong victim. It's okay to vent your frustration, your bitterness, your complaints, your despair, etc. While it may be true that you were mistreated as a victim before and life's been pretty unfair to you, then you can complain about it, but also try to balance your ranting session with how you're going to move on and rise beyond your bad experiences.

Usually, people even admire those who have been tested by circumstances, but who were able to turn the tides of fate and rise beyond the odds and had bounce back from anything.

When you get together with your friends, too much complaining may drain them (are you always the first one to express dissatisfaction about bad waiters, rude taxi drivers, nasty food, etc?)

Do you often try to monopolize the conversations leading others to simply listen?

Do you neglect to ask your friends about how they're doing?

Do you endlessly ask for reassurance from them?

If you answer yes to these, well, you're not alone. It's normal to feel these way if you get pissed, annoyed or anxious. But if you keep on being like this on a constant basis, chances are, your friends will also get bored and your negativity might rub off on them and make them feel down also. Maybe next time you can be more 'refreshing' to your pals and you can change your attitude on seeing things as reality.

www.ArticleCity.com

Comments

Pepper
# Pepper
Wednesday, February 09, 2011 1:20 AM
That's sweet, Amy, but you need to remember that as you get older you will become increasingly isolated from your friends. Life has a way from moving people apart. Building a reliance on others is not the solution. In fact, this act of relating can be dangerous. It's an addictive process, telling people your woes, building out stories and relating them to others. This narrative approach can lead you into dangerous territory because you begin to fictionalize your life for serial consumption. And once you have the habit of telling friends, you get into the habit of inappropriate sharing with others. That can mark your career if you confide in a colleague who gossips. Instead of making ones personal problems a hostage to others, and yourself a hostage to the inclination to seek support, you should try isolating your problems by writing them down, grading them (how serious are they, do they threaten your well being), assessing your responsibility, and identifying actions you can take to fix them. Too often we believe the opposite of internalizing problems is to gush all our problems out onto the world.
Pepper
# Pepper
Wednesday, February 09, 2011 1:37 AM
That's sweet, Amy, but you need to remember that as you get older you will become increasingly isolated from your friends. Life has a way from moving people apart. Building a reliance on others is not the solution. In fact, this act of relating can be dangerous. It's an addictive process, telling people your woes, building out stories and relating them to others. This narrative approach can lead you into dangerous territory because you begin to fictionalize your life for serial consumption. And once you have the habit of telling friends, you get into the habit of inappropriate sharing with others. That can mark your career if you confide in a colleague who gossips. Instead of making ones personal problems a hostage to others, and yourself a hostage to the inclination to seek support, you should try isolating your problems by writing them down, grading them (how serious are they, do they threaten your well being), assessing your responsibility, and identifying actions you can take to fix them. Too often we believe the opposite of internalizing problems is to gush all our problems out onto the world.

Post Comment

Only registered users may post comments.
Account Login


Register
Forgot Password ?

Articles by User
Search Sadness